Tears wont dry

I’m still in a very deep shock about the loss of my precious child, my little one. If only I could go where she is right now I’d really want to. I felt so sad that she’s not going to share with us the future. Maybe God have already shown her completely what she have to see in this mortal stretch of time.

But I really miss her so much. I can’t top my tears from falling every time I think of her. Of how I will face the future without her. I’m missing you so much Anne.

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Drawing courage and strenght from God

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you [God] are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4)

I know this isn’t easy though we’re Christians. Sometime I’m just trying to think that it is just a bad dream and I can wake up one morning that my child is well. Sometime I’m feeling so hopeless and weak that it is almost senseless to move on. But at times I can clearly sense that God and my little one are just breath away from me and that in God’s might and power a decade would seem to be an hour and a thousand year be like a day and that the day that my daughter and me will be together again will be in no time. I know that God will draw me near from where they are. That God wants me to be with Him.. to be with my Anne Sherina.

A future is lost

A lot of people specially her teachers at school are saying that Anne Sherina is exceptionally intelligent, well mannered, loving and kind. I’m drowning in tears when I see her handwriting which is far more better than a regular fourth year high school student. She really is a lost future. Sometimes I can’t stop my self from thinking of what she might have been when she’s grown up. With her intelligence and great interest for studying, she might have gone far. Her lola (grand mother) said she always find her apo (grandchild) doing her homework everytime she comes to visit Anne Sherina and her brother.

What an emptiness the loss of Anne Sherina had brought into my life. Words can’t explain how I feel. Temporarily few things can make me smile but the thoughts of my precious child always brings longing and loneliness for the reality that she is separated from us until the day our souls reunites again.

The price we Pay for love

I stumbled through this article and decide to post it here that at least for my own benefit and anybody who is grieving just like me and my family. Reading about grief somehow leads me to a better understanding of my loss. Acceptance might not happen overnight but listening and reading about other people who had already experienced the same ordeal is very significant in understanding my own and my family’s grief.

Our love for Anne Sherina is the bridge from where she is right now.

Grief: The Price We Pay For Love

by Darcie Sims, Ph.D., CGC, CHT

Grief is a NATURAL and NORMAL reaction to loss, loss of any kind. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological response. The death of a loved one is perhaps the most devastating loss one may experience. Yet, grief occurs following ANY change in our lives. Even positive changes can bring a momentary grief response.

Grief is a complex process, guided by our past experiences, our religious beliefs, our socio-economic situation, our physical health and the cause of the loss.

LOVE, ANGER, FEAR, FRUSTRATION, LONELINESS and GUILT are all part of grief. It is important to understand that grief is NOT a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith.

GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE.

Grieving may cause physical and behavioral changes such as: sleep irregularities, changes in appetite, gastro-intestinal disturbances, “heart ache”, restlessness, spontaneous crying, irritability, sighing or muscle tension.

Anger and guilt are common emotions. You may feel angry with God, your spouse, your children or with others, either involved or totally separate from the death. You may be angry with yourself. Guilt feelings often accompany or follow anger. You may want to withdraw and be left alone.

Depression, feelings of emptiness or hollowness may temporarily overcome you. You may experience headaches, tightness in the throat or chest, muscle aches, or burning sensation in your stomach.

GRIEF HURTS! You may, for a while, become preoccupied with images of your loved one. You may “see” or sense your loved one’s presence. You may begin to wonder if you are going crazy.

You can help yourself through grief:

1. Acknowledge the loss.
2. Accept the pain of grief. Try to live THROUGH it, not avoid it.
3. Share your thoughts and feelings. Find enough compassionate listeners. You can talk – – more than one person can listen!
4. Understand that each person has an individual timetable for grief. Each person grieves separately and differently. We move through grief at our own pace.
5. Find your sense of humor. Try to hang on to it!
6. Get some physical exercise. If nothing else, jog your memory.
7. Learn to hug again.
8. Accept yourself. Understand you are someone new. Acknowledge that change.
9. Begin to become the person you already are.
10.Remember, though death comes,

LOVE NEVER GOES AWAY!!!