I stumbled through this article and decide to post it here that at least for my own benefit and anybody who is grieving just like me and my family. Reading about grief somehow leads me to a better understanding of my loss. Acceptance might not happen overnight but listening and reading about other people who had already experienced the same ordeal is very significant in understanding my own and my family’s grief.
Grief: The Price We Pay For Love
by Darcie Sims, Ph.D., CGC, CHT
Grief is a NATURAL and NORMAL reaction to loss, loss of any kind. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological response. The death of a loved one is perhaps the most devastating loss one may experience. Yet, grief occurs following ANY change in our lives. Even positive changes can bring a momentary grief response.
Grief is a complex process, guided by our past experiences, our religious beliefs, our socio-economic situation, our physical health and the cause of the loss.
LOVE, ANGER, FEAR, FRUSTRATION, LONELINESS and GUILT are all part of grief. It is important to understand that grief is NOT a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith.
GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE.
Grieving may cause physical and behavioral changes such as: sleep irregularities, changes in appetite, gastro-intestinal disturbances, “heart ache”, restlessness, spontaneous crying, irritability, sighing or muscle tension.
Anger and guilt are common emotions. You may feel angry with God, your spouse, your children or with others, either involved or totally separate from the death. You may be angry with yourself. Guilt feelings often accompany or follow anger. You may want to withdraw and be left alone.
Depression, feelings of emptiness or hollowness may temporarily overcome you. You may experience headaches, tightness in the throat or chest, muscle aches, or burning sensation in your stomach.
GRIEF HURTS! You may, for a while, become preoccupied with images of your loved one. You may “see” or sense your loved one’s presence. You may begin to wonder if you are going crazy.
You can help yourself through grief:
1. Acknowledge the loss.
2. Accept the pain of grief. Try to live THROUGH it, not avoid it.
3. Share your thoughts and feelings. Find enough compassionate listeners. You can talk – – more than one person can listen!
4. Understand that each person has an individual timetable for grief. Each person grieves separately and differently. We move through grief at our own pace.
5. Find your sense of humor. Try to hang on to it!
6. Get some physical exercise. If nothing else, jog your memory.
7. Learn to hug again.
8. Accept yourself. Understand you are someone new. Acknowledge that change.
9. Begin to become the person you already are.
10.Remember, though death comes,
LOVE NEVER GOES AWAY!!!