A lifetime of pain

Since your gone, living each day at a time was never easy. Sometimes I just wanted to give away this portion I got so I can be with you. The world might not understand my predicament but I know you know so well. I don’t care about how to fly and being high anymore. I just care about being with you. I know it’s unfair to others who’s loving me like you do, but what could be fair with out you.

I know that grief is a feeling not exclusive to me. Some might say you didn’t come from me. But what do they know about my feelings for you.

I hate myself for being too helpless when you needed me most! I should have been by your side to ease your pain. How can live each day like this! Life’s so unkind that I can’t even stand by your side on your darkest hour. I wished to have taken your place but why does our maker didn’t allow me to.

I know the pain you’ve gone through is almost unbearable. My lifetime of pain of losing you is not enough to ease the pain you’ve gone through. I’m so sorry my little one.

Living with the pain

Just about every single day when you try to do something for your own survival; like eating, drinking water, taking a bath and just about anything; you will be missing that special part of your being that has gone ahead of you. The pain is almost unbearable.

Through the rain

It’s getting cold and the sun is bleak. A future is gone and the past wont speak. I know tomorrow the sun will shine but it’s getting through a whole in my heart. Our love has been perfect and unconditional, are hearts speaks though we seldom talked. Our souls were united though we’re not together too much. I can hear your scream when you are in pain. I can hear you voice calling my name. But baby, your pain is over and your sufferings are gone. No more sorrows, no more pain. No more broken hearts, no more tears.

Touch my soul embrace my spirit. Only in that way I can offer you a kiss. Nobody wants that we will be apart too soon. But nobody knows what the future could bring. Nobody knows why God left those collective prayers unanswered. Nobody knows why the body is weaker than the soul. Only our refuge in heaven can explain all that. Only when I’m with you will I understand. The rain is pouring and it’s drowning my soul. Only then my child when we are united again in the hands of heaven the rain will stop. I’m missing you so much with every bit of my soul. I love you so dearly my Anne Sherina, my little one.