You don’t count the years

Yea, if it is about losing your own child, things are really a lot different than anything else. It is far worst than any grief you’ll ever have in your life. The feelings about it is not the fleeting kind. No matter how much you force your self to get over it so you can move on, still it’s not really going away too soon. I really can’t explain this feelings and I know it’s only God who can.

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How do you deal with grief?

This blog is all about how I’m dealing with the biggest loss I ever had in my lifetime. As you can see the entries have no rules, sometimes I’m coping and sometimes everything’s back to where it all started “zero”. Yea I admit, grief on losing a precious part of your being is the loneliest emotion for being human. I’m still into deep sorrow because of losing Anne. I know it’s normal and I’m not giving myself a timetable on when I expect my self to have fully recovered. Sometimes I fell like I don’t want recovery to ever come to me instead. But I know that God will make a way for me to deal with this heartbreaking emotion.

I guess it’s about time for me to ask others on how they deal with their grief? I’m moving on but I admit that I can’t do it alone.

How do you deal with grief?

Sharing my journey

I know that it’ll take time until I’ll fully recover from losing my precious child. I might not even recover at all. I’m sharing this blog and my journey that I might help others deal with their grief. I know dealing with such affliction is not an easy task. But remember that “God will always make a way when there seems to be no way”. There’s always hope.

Sharing my grief and recovery through this blog makes me feel better. Every time I see people going over this blog and somehow I touch their hearts I feel I’m doing something that my daughter wants me to do. Seeing people reading my entries and waiting for my upcoming entries inspires me to write more. Thank you appreciating my work.

For those who are having similar affliction like what me and my family is going through right now, get closer to God and you’ll be stronger.

God is here

THE MOST AUDACIOUS enlivening, freeing, joy-creating, humbling, life-transforming reality of the Christian faith is not that God will be with us, but that God is here, right now. God is here in the midst of suffering, in the midst of short-coming, in the midst of triumph, in the midst of our greatest fulfillment, and in the midst of our broken-heartedness.

– Gregory S. Clapper
When the World Breaks Your Heart

I haven’t read the book, but I can easily relate what I am going through to what the author is trying say. I have experienced every single emotions enumerated above, but one thing is for sure, God is always here. He never left me and I know He does the same way to all His children. As He is with my lovely angel, God is also here with us.

God will make a way

Somehow it’s needless to say any words along with this song when you are really down and out. Oh how I missed you my little one.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

By a roadway in the wilderness, He’ll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

Drawing courage and strenght from God

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you [God] are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4)

I know this isn’t easy though we’re Christians. Sometime I’m just trying to think that it is just a bad dream and I can wake up one morning that my child is well. Sometime I’m feeling so hopeless and weak that it is almost senseless to move on. But at times I can clearly sense that God and my little one are just breath away from me and that in God’s might and power a decade would seem to be an hour and a thousand year be like a day and that the day that my daughter and me will be together again will be in no time. I know that God will draw me near from where they are. That God wants me to be with Him.. to be with my Anne Sherina.

So young but walked christ like

Anne Sherina is everybody’s pamangkin and apo. One of our relative that is so close to her is her lola Myra, who happens to be her teacher on the Sunday Bible School, she was the wife of my father’s second cousin (Pastor Elias Caido). Sunday before Anne Sherina got sick she attended the Sunday Bible School. When her lola Myra asked her students what they wish to become if they become something that is a part of the nature Anne Sherina was one of the kids who went to the writing board and her lola said she sketched a fish and wrote that she wanted to become one (fish) to feed many people. I am so amazed to learn how kind hearted my little daughter is to think that we are not financial stable. I admired her so much for being selfless at a very young age. People were saying that she is so good (mabait) and for those little actions that she had done, God was so impressed that He doesn’t wanted our little angel’s pure and simple heart be tarnished with sin.